Friday September 15, 2017
USFS 293 19.5 miles
Total mileage 1782.4
My Appalachian Trail adventure is over and it has now become a job. It is work and no longer brings me a tremendous amount of joy.
I woke up this morning and decided to quit the trail. It seemed an easy decision to make even though I felt sick to my stomach about it. I decided to hike this last day with my hiking partner, HOOTIE and let him know. I tell Jim just before I hit the trail that this will be my last day. He tells me we will talk later.
It is easy to tell HOOTIE and talk about it. I tell him as soon as we hit the trail. At the end of the hike we talk about it again and he asked me if I still feel the same and I do. I didn’t cry when I made the decision or when I talk to HOOTIE about it. It just feels right. I am tired and my feet are sore. I no longer want to eat. I only eat when I get hungry and nothing really sounds good to eat not even town food.
I’m stressed with my time limit and I just want to lay in bed for days and do nothing. I’ve made myself sick over this and have had such anxiety. I know that I will regret my decision and have been encouraged to continue to make sure this is really really what I want. So today I hike out again. Jim is going home today and he said he will come back and get me if I really really want to end my hike.
Today I am thankful for my friend, Kara who has been through all of this and knows and understands what I am going through. She has been encouraging me every step of the way. Her words always are always from the heart.