ANXIETY ATTACK

Sunday 23, 2017 – Tuesday 25, 2017

I stayed at a really nice place last night, The Sterling Inn. It has bunk rooms as well as private rooms and everything a hiker needs (resupply, shuttles, and laundry).

I was planning on heading out on Sunday morning, but I just felt so sick about getting back on the trail. I was having an anxiety attack. I would say that the honeymoon is over and the mental aspect of the trail has just hit me. I had my stuff all packed up and ready to go but I just couldn’t make myself leave.

Probably for the last couple of weeks when I leave town I have an anxiety attack. I don’t know what it is really from, but I don’t think it is fear of the trail. I think I am just missing Jim terribly. Plus he is about to have rotator cuff surgery and he has been having some pain in he ear and jaw and we don’t know what is causing it. He has been to a dentist and an endodontist and it is not a tooth problem. I’m just really worried about him.

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I have been really emotional and have had bits of crying. I just want to go home and see Jim. I want to make sure he is OK. He had planned to summit Katahdin with me, but the accident changed all that.

I know I want to finish Maine, but I am thinking of taking a break and going home for a short spell to see Jim and to make sure everything is going well after the surgery. I will wait until summiting Katahdin to decide for sure. He will be home from surgery by the time I summit so I will see how he is doing and go from there.

I decided to wait for SOULFLOWER. That is why I took so many days off in a row. She is just a ray of sunshine and so fun to be around. I knew she would help me finish up Maine. We will be leaving in the morning and headed to Monson, the last stop before the 100 mile wilderness. I will admit I am nervous about the logistics of the 100 mile wilderness. I have to have a permit to climb Katahdin and only 12 people are allowed to camp at the base to climb Katahdin. If the weather is bad I would have to hike ten miles back to a campground or go into the nearest town that is 40 minutes away and a $48 one way shuttle. I will definitely be praying for good weather.

The last couple of days the temperatures have only been in the 60’s and 70’s for the highs

13 thoughts on “ANXIETY ATTACK

  1. I’m glad you decided to wait for Soul Flower. I think it’s a good thing…especially on this leg of your journey. Hang in there. I think what you are experiencing is normal…even the periods of crying. You’ve just been through a very stressful and physically, mentally and emotionally taxing section of the hike. I’m sure your body and soul are releasing all of that stress in a variety of different ways.

    Bud and I are continuing to pray for you (and your husband). I know things will work out exactly as God intends.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey little bear! I totally git your thing about needing a Soulflower fix. She does have a way of making our own personal issues seem like nothing.
    No matter what it takes, you need to go forward and summit Katahdin. This is your journey and yours alone. I would give anything in the world to be where you are at this point. But my hand/wrist is going to require physical therapy and this really is tough on me.
    A couple of days ago, my baby brother took his own life and I am totally devastated.
    Sometimes our problems are not as bad as we think
    Go, Go, Go!

    Like

    1. Thank you for you words of encouragement in a time like this I wish I have some words to lift your spirits up but unfortunately when we have lost a love one I don’t think there are any good words to say. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

      Like

  3. This is supposed to be a wonderful journey. If you are so stressed that you are crying and suffering from anxiety. And wanting to be home and with your husband more than you want to be on the trail then you’ve answered your own question. Go home to your husband. Don’t let the journey destroy you. You have accomplished much and everyone is very proud of you. Be well little bear.

    Liked by 1 person

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